Inadequate

After Pentecost (Proper 17 ) | Year A | Exodus 3:1-15 | Michael Watts

I have always wanted to be a dad. When I was a little kid, I dreamed of having a family, a wife, and kids to share my life with. Two kids, to be exact: a boy first, and then a girl, so that big brother could help protect his little sister. I would dream about what my life would look like and how I would be a great husband and father, giving my wife and children all the support and unconditional love that I could. I would work hard to support my family so they would have all they needed. I imagined what it would be like to go to their school activities, plays, and sporting events. I even imagined what my wife's name might be: Elizabeth is a beautiful name. I felt strongly that this is what my life would look like. Who knows why a young Michael Watts believed this so strongly? Perhaps it was God directing me before I even realized it.

I didn't grow up in a Christian home. I found God at the end of a long, rocky path. A path that involved marriage, the fear of not having children of my own, and divorce. It was through that difficult time that I found Christ and met the love of my life. Her name is Elizabeth, just as I imagined as a little kid. When I first saw her, my initial reaction was, "Wow, she is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." As I talked to her, I was even more astounded at how wonderful she is. We now have a son and a daughter on the way. The things I, so long ago dreamed of, are now my life, and it fills me with joy and a little fear. What if I can't handle being a father? What if I am too hard on my son, trying to prepare him for a not-so-kind world? What if I mess up and hurt him or make him sick? What if I let my little girl down? What if I am overprotective? What if I am not protective enough? What if I don't feed them properly or enough? What if I don't make enough money to support the four of us? What if this marriage falls apart like my last marriage did? What if, what if, what if...

I find myself blessed with the highest calling of being a godly husband and father, yet I feel terribly inadequate for the job.

Have you ever been there? Have you ever felt called to do something, but did not feel adequate enough to accomplish it? Been given the greatest of gifts yet felt unworthy?

I'm sure most of us have. We have been in situations where we feel strongly about something we should do (a calling) or have been given a great task (a calling). This calling can be at our jobs. It can be a situation in a relationship or with a friend. Perhaps it can even be just a daily, mundane task. At some point in our lives, we have likely had that strong urge to do something, but at the same time questioned our ability to not only do it but do it successfully.

In Exodus chapter 3:1-15, Moses finds himself in a similar situation. In these verses, God reveals himself to Moses! How spectacular is that! However, not only does God reveal himself, God also calls Moses to do a great thing. But Moses has some reservations about what God is calling him to do. What was Moses' response? "Who am I that I should go (3:11)?" Then, of course, further down in the passage, we see Moses making lots of reasons why he should not be the one to go. We can relate, right? We have all the excuses, and we have all asked the question, "Who am I?"

So how does God respond to this? Does he assure Moses of Moses' greatness and ability? Does he let Moses know that Moses is filled with untapped potential?

God says, "I will be with you."

Moses asked, "Who am I?" and God's answer says, "Moses, who you are is irrelevant. I AM will be with you."

God does not assure Moses of Moses' ability. God assures Moses that He will be with him when he goes. God will often give impossible tasks to humans. In fact, that is most often how God chooses to enact His plan on earth—through his people.

It is the same today, whether it be a task as large as freeing a nation of slaves, or as deceptively small as being a godly husband and father. Whatever the task, God will not call us to do something and then abandon us. God will not give us a task without making it possible.

When you read the rest of the Moses story, you find that Moses does what God has asked of him. He leads the Israelites out of Egypt, through the Red Sea, and into the wilderness, fulfilling His promise to the Israelites and proving to everyone that God loves His creation and will equip us to do His will and His work.

"For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." (Ephesians 2:10)

I haven't always followed God's plan for my life. What I didn't realize then, because I was not a practicing Christian, is that not only will God reveal His will to us, but God will not call us without equipping us for what He has called us to do. Whatever that calling in our lives is, God will take care of us. And thankfully, through the influence and witness of my wife, Elizabeth, I found the grace of Christ and a loving church community. I found the calling to be a godly husband and father. I found the calling to be a pastor.

Many days I feel inadequate, but I can rest assured that God is with me and has been with me.

We as Christians are called by God to do many things in life. It doesn't matter what that calling is, we need to obey God. And when those doubts pop into our minds from the evil one, we can look to the story of Moses as a reminder to us that God will be with us, and God will equip us. We may not understand God's will or His reasoning at the time, and we may feel ill prepared just like Moses did. No matter how we feel, God is there to take care of us, just like He did with the Israelites.

When feelings of inadequacy come, acknowledge them, and let God in the driver's seat. Don't let Satan convince you that your ability for a task is an indicator of success. Do what God calls you to, no matter what that is, with the confidence that God will be with you. Think of how obedience to the call changed Moses' life and all of human history. Imagine what your life and your world might look like with that same obedience.

Follow the call without fear and reservation, full of love and purpose, His love and purpose.

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