Pain and Prayer

After Pentecost (Proper 8) | Year A | Psalm 13 | TJ Torgerson

Let me ask you a question that may not be easy to answer: What was the most difficult time of your life? There is likely more than one event or period in your life that fights for that title.

For my wife and me, it was during the years 2002 and 2003. It started with an uneasy look from an ultrasound technician. Then she got up from her chair, removed her gloves and said she needed to get the doctor. My stomach sank; I knew something was wrong. This year our son would have been 20.

I grew up attending church, and when you grow up in church, you learn a lot of things. I learned about forgiveness, love, and grace. I learned the Bible stories, the parables, and the miracles. I learned the teachings of Jesus, including the steps He gave us in Matthew 18 to resolve problems with others.

Growing up in church, I knew what to do if I had a problem with someone, but no one ever told me what to do if I had a problem with God. The very thought of having a problem with God feels blasphemous to some. After all, who are we to have a problem with God?

Church taught me a lot about God. God heals, God loves, God can be trusted. I was told that all things work together for the good and to give thanks in all circumstances. I was encouraged to memorize scriptures like James 1:2–4 which says,

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

Not only did I memorize this passage, but I also delved deep into it. If I were to teach on this, I would tell you that the word for "testing" (dokimion) in this passage is a metallurgy term. It refers to the process of precious metals being smelted—tested—by subjecting them to extreme heat and removing impurities. The end result being that the metals become so pure that you can see your reflection in them.

I would tell you that God uses the trials we face to purify us so that His reflection can be seen in us. As we go through the heat, we become more like Him. But even with this knowledge, I can tell you right now that if James showed up in that ultrasound room that day and said, "Consider it pure joy..." he would not have been a welcome guest.

We are taught many things in church, but we are often not told what to do when we have a problem with God. Moreover, we do not even have permission to have an issue with God or to be anything but nauseatingly optimistic. We believe things, either explicitly or implicitly, like:

- Following God means every day is better than the last.

- The best is yet to come, and if have eternity in view, we are correct. However, on a smaller scale, between now and eternity, we might have to wade through some muck and mire. Some Christians around the world will have a difficult existence their whole lives.

- God's ultimate purpose is our individual happiness. But the truth is, God wants to present us as a holy, blameless church (Eph 5:27). God doesn't seem concerned with presenting us as a fun, optimistic, exciting church.

But back to the point: What do we do when life seems dark? When we have a problem with God?

The answer is simple: We learn to worship in a new way. We often think of worship in terms of praise and thanksgiving. This type of song make up the songs in our worship services. These types of songs are beautiful and true and should be sung. In fact, in hard and difficult times, if we are able, we should sing songs like that. But what if we are not able? What if we have a problem with God? Do we lie and just sing and shout, "God, I think you are just the greatest" even though at that moment we really don't think that is true? In times like these, when we have a problem with God, when God seems distant and perhaps even cruel, we need to learn a new way to worship.

To learn that new way, we turn to scripture in the book of Psalms, the prayer book or hymnal of Ancient Israel and the early church. The psalms have been categorized in different ways by different people. One system puts the various psalms into six groups:

1. Praise

2. Thanksgiving

3. Wisdom

4. Royal psalms

5. Hymns

6. Laments

Some of these categories may seem familiar, while others may not. Today, let's focus on number six: Laments. A lament is an intense expression of grief, sorrow, or complaint. Sometimes it involves complaining to God about enemies, and other times it involves complaining to God about God. Laments come in many different shapes and sizes, and interestingly, they make up the largest of the six categories.

These are songs that would not make it on K-Love, Christian charts, or most hymnals. Could you imagine singing a song like "God, life is not fair, the enemy is winning, and you are ignoring me!"? Take, for example, Psalm 13, would you sing this in church?

Psalm 13:1–4 NIV

How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever?

How long will you hide your face from me?

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts

and day after day have sorrow in my heart?

How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Look on me and answer, LORD my God.

Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,

and my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"

and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

But know that the lament is worship. It comprises most of the worship book of ancient Israel. Perhaps, then, it is a form of worship that we need to learn because unfortunately, we are not very good at this. If someone begins to express that it feels like God is far away, not listening, or unfair, we quickly try to fix them. Often, we are more concerned with our own discomfort with their sadness, sense of injustice, or grief than we are with what they are going through. Sometimes, we even call into doubt their faith, devotion, or Christianity because we believe that only optimism and smiles are acceptable.

We remind them of what James said, "Consider it pure joy." Forgetting that sometimes we need to consider it pure sorrow before we can consider it pure joy, and that is okay. Because God is big enough and loving enough to be able to let us be angry, sad, and hurt for a time. God is big enough to take us shaking our fist at Him and asking, "God, how could you let this happen?"

Psalm 13:1–2 NIV

How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever?

How long will you hide your face from me?

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts

and day after day have sorrow in my heart?

How long will my enemy triumph over me?

I want to approach this from another angle. What is worship? The definition I have heard most often is that worship is a proper response to the revelation of God. Considering that definition, songs of praise and thanksgiving make a lot of sense because as Christian people, we have so much to be grateful for and so many reasons to offer praise.

1. We have been forgiven and cleansed of our sins!

2. Jesus on the Cross said it was finished and He defeated sin and death!

3. God is at work putting things right, and we look forward to an eternity where things are made right.

4. God has worked in the lives of our friends and family members.

5. God has made us part of this wonderful family we call the church.

But consider this: on the other side of each of those reasons to praise are reasons to grieve and feel sorrow. When we rejoice in being forgiven, we may grieve our sin and weakness in the first place. We know God has defeated sin and death, but when we see it running rampant, we grieve and mourn. We know God will put everything right, but that can awaken a longing in our hearts where we cry out, "How much longer!" We see God at work in family and friends, but we grieve over those we are still praying for. Praise and grief are both proper responses to the same truths of God. God honors both as worship.

Let's conclude with a final thought. C.S. Lewis once wrote, "It is in the process of being worshipped that God communicates His presence to us." So consider this: when we bring God the honest, deep, dark prayers of our lamentations and grief, God communicates His presence to us, and as that happens, we are led out of the darkness and into a new place. It may be a slow process or a fast process, but when God's presence is communicated to us, it is an inevitable process. And it looks like Psalm 13:

1 How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever?

How long will you hide your face from me?

2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts

and day after day have sorrow in my heart?

How long will my enemy triumph over me?

3 Look on me and answer, LORD my God.

Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,

4 and my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"

and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

5 But I trust in your unfailing love;

my heart rejoices in your salvation.

6 I will sing the LORD's praise,